Sexing her up, a guy’s guide to foreplay
Research reveals that a man can orgasm within three minutes of becoming excited; women on the other hand, need a minimum of thirteen minutes! So if she’s going to stand a chance of orgasming before you do, she’ll need foreplay! Snogging, massaging, teasing – anything that gets her motor running is essential. And while it’s tempting to fast forward to the moment of penetration – grabbing your penis and dragging it down to her pelvis before you’ve even parked the car – it’s a mistake. Remember: the less sighing and moaning she does before the shag, the more she’ll do after – okay?
Women need lots of foreplay! They need twice as much as men think they do…plus a few hours! It gets your girl into gear, it starts her lubricating, it increases her sensitivity to your touch, and it even changes the shape of her vagina so she’s better designed to greet your penis! Without foreplay, women can’t physically orgasm. So she needs you to “sex her up” mentally before the main game.
There’s no such thing as the ultimate foreplay. It’s not just about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It’s about understanding what makes your partner get hot and horny and delivering the things that make her experience intense pleasure.
There are many ways to give your partner extreme sensations, but one thing is for sure - it all begins in her brain. Simply tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate her sexy body. By complimenting her appearance, especially if her confidence level is low, you’re giving her added security and excitement, as well as giving her good reasons to go all out with your lovemaking. And never underestimate the power of laughter to light her sexual flame, and teases and tickles to turn her on. Now read on…
Give an erotic massage
Touch is one of our most sexually stimulating senses. And massage is a deliciously erotic way of connecting with your partner. Generally, people touch other people the way they like to be touched. So make sure you’re massaging with the degree of pressure your partner likes, and don’t be shy about asking for feedback. A sensual massage is about exploring the whole body, so touch her face, stroke the back of her neck and hold her chin – that’s so hot. We like build-up too so focus on areas where the skin is thin as these areas are very sensitive – including around her ankles, behind her knees and inside her arms. Try giving touch with things other than your fingers or hands: you can experiment with your breath, fluttering your eyelashes and brushing your lips across your partner’s body. To help you maximize her enjoyment of the evening's entertainment, invest in some massage oil or lotion that’s safe for internal use, or go all out and include a sultry blindfold, a feather tickler and a vibrator for a one-way ticket to Pleasureville!
Turn sex into dessert
Pack a lover’s picnic hamper for a feast of sexual pleasures. Find a secluded spot or, if the weather’s bad, plan a bedroom picnic. Add sexy, aphrodisiac foods to create an erotic vibe and to hint at the pleasures still to come: champagne, caviar and chocolate, or go for broke and include figs, oysters and asparagus! Light the area with candles for mood lighting and for dessert, after some passionfruit, add your own passion. Your lover will enjoy the attention and romance and there’s no doubt you’ll get an “oh” for effort!
Make foreplay wet ‘n’ wild
Use the shower to steam up your sex life, rather than to cool down your passion – it’s a great place for a quickie! Or run a relaxing, hot bath for two… Make love in a sauna or spa to really sweat things up (research indicates that sweating rids the body of stress hormones, making us more relaxed and increasing our sex drive). Lather up a body sponge or loofah with some sweet smelling soap and take turns scrubbing each other up and down, paying particular attention to her bum, thighs, calves and breasts. And don’t neglect her arms, neck and feet too, although remember they’ll be slippery later on the porcelain!
Drip water onto her skin (if you're in a hot bath, drip cold water to alter the sensation), and massage her feet with a slippery bath gel. Now shampoo her hair, giving her a good scalp massage – it’s guaranteed to make her tingle from tip to toe. Use the slipperiness of the suds to tickle and tease her, concentrating hard on just how erotic her skin feels under your wildly wet touch. For extra stimulation, use a water safe toy to stimulate – just remember to add some lubrication.
Use your partner’s body as a canvas
Let your imagination run wild and use a sexy and scrumptious body paint to create a masterpiece on your girl’s body! Believe us when we say the feel of the brush playing against her skin will excite her as much as the attention! Craft a work of art that starts up top and winds itself down below... Or dip your brush into a chocolate flavoured body sauce, and get to work painting her thighs, while working your way up for artistic and sensual inspiration! Say, “damn, that’s not what I meant to draw…” and erase it all by licking it off! Or sit in the bath, have your partner close her eyes, and draw sexual messages or sexy pictures on her back, asking her to guess what it is you’re hinting at.
Inspector gadget
To really delight her box, create a real box, fill it with sex toys and keep it near the bedside for easy and spontaneous access. You can either surprise her by presenting her with a toy to play with, or treat the box as a lucky dip. Blindfold her and ask her to choose something that feels promising, and then delight her body with that accessory. Buy an array of vibes, dongs and dildos, or include everyday play things you’ll find around the house by getting together fun foods, like fruit and honey, and scarves that provide different sensations, like fur, lace and satin. Lotions, potions, hot wax and massage oils that heat up when you rub them are also great standbys. When she starts moaning, keep on doing what you're doing. Don't swap to a different technique. Girls need sustained stimulation, but you could up the ante by asking her to describe what she’s feeling and if it makes the get-it-on grade.
Feel some heat on your seat
Get her motor running by watching some adult erotica together. But boys, when choosing adult erotica for the missus, please, please try and remember that you can’t always make assumptions about what women want from an erotic film. Some gals will enjoy a traditional couple’s flick with a well-developed plot and lots of foreplay, while others are simply seeking an uninterrupted hardcore bonk-fest. Some women want performers with natural bodies. Others revel in the fantasy bodies of adult erotica stars. But while many people assume that it’s the boys who mainly get off on watching adult erotica, it’s a fact that many women do too. So don't give up…instead prepare for this playtime together and make a real effort to find out about what really floats her boat.
Monkeying around
To instantly fire up your foreplay, delve into the joys and delights of being together by introducing a sexy board game or two into the bedroom. Strip poker is a sure fire favourite, but there are many others for the two of you to choose from. Ultimately FUN is the best aphrodisiac, so instead of heading straight for sexy, start by having a laugh with your lover instead!
And finally
Remember anyone can be good in bed. Genital size doesn’t matter. Looks don’t matter. You don’t have to have legs up to your chin or arms like Arnie, drive a sports car, or be rolling in it to be the best lover your femme fatale’s ever had. You just need foreplay…and lot’s of it! And you don’t need to be Einstein to figure out that if you spend longer on foreplay and master it, you’ll need to swap your Little Black Book for a Big Black Briefcase to lug around all your phone numbers.
And women aren’t the only ones who like foreplay. Even men who can get an erection by inserting a coin in a slot machine can’t deny that a good, slow, erotic “tease” dramatically heightens all sexual sensation.
Finally, while foreplay isn't a destination; it's a means of travelling. Rush through the “travelling” and you might find the destination isn't quite as exciting as you'd expected. Lavish attention on your lady and you might even discover that foreplay doesn't just have to be the entree; it can be main course (and dessert) as well!
