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10 Ways to Turn Him On in the Bedroom

5 September 2013 3 comments

If ladies think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach then they're aiming a touch high! If she can't cook then it's not the end of the world, however if she can't satisfy her man in the bedroom, and equally he can't satisfy her, then ultimately the relationship is probably doomed. Over time women can learn to cook and similarly over time they can learn how to turn their man on. I'm about to share with you 10 guaranteed ways to excite most men in the bedroom.

The way to a man's heartThe way to a man's heart

When couples first meet, most men are turned on by a simple kiss or a glimpse of her cleavage or inner thigh. At this early stage of a relationship most men don't need much more foreplay than this. As the relationship develops over time it's generally going to take more to set the mood and fire him up.

Obviously what happens before you get to the bedroom is very important and can have a big impact upon what turns a guy on. Cooking dinner in lingerie or knickers can really set the mood, as can a bottle of wine over dinner. Having a meal out at your favourite restaurant or drinks at a bar can set the tone for a passionate sex session after. Breaking from routine out of the bedroom, as well as in the bedroom, certainly helps to keep a relationship exciting.

If you're looking forward to some bedroom action the last thing you want is to have an argument or to have any heavy scent of friction in the air. Whilst 'make up' sex can be great, nobody likes arguments or dramas, and it's usually the quickest way to kill desire and turn a guy off. My point is; if you want great sex then start turning a guy on before you get to the bedroom. Once you're in the bedroom however think about the following tips to ensure he craves you, and he's ready to satisfy you (not just himself):

  1. A woman needs to be confident in the bedroom!
    She needs to be confident of her body and looks (without body issues) and confident of her abilities to satisfy him. A woman needs to feel sexy! Men can tell if a woman isn't feeling sexy or if she's not confident with the way she looks. She doesn't need to be comparable with a Victoria's Secrets model with the perfect body. Most men would rather a girl half as good looking who was twice as sexy and comfortable in her own skin. When a woman feels good about herself she exudes sexiness and men love it! It's the number one turn on for most men. That feeling of kissing a woman and then thrusting a hand into her knickers to find the ooze of moistness and warmth is intoxicating!Obviously what a guy says and does can have a huge impact upon how a woman feels about her body and looks. I'm going to cover this in next week's blog.
  2. Stroke a man's ego...not just his manhood!
    Yes it's true; men are hopeless when it comes to their need for reassurance and ego stroking. Telling your man how much you're into him, how much he turns you on, how you can't wait to feel him inside you, makes him feel like King Kong. Enthusiasm is a very powerful aphrodisiac! If you make a guy feel like he's a great lover there's a good chance he'll perform like one.
  3. What you wear, or don't wear, can make a big difference.
    Men are visual creatures. We normally like the light on. We like sexy lingerie. A woman wearing our favourite knickers or g-strings (what she looks best in) can be very seductive. Sometimes we even like stilettos, high heels, or even boots left on. Whilst there's a slight risk of a sex injury there's a far bigger risk that you'll both be super turned on by wearing footwear in the bed. Perhaps the wearing of stilettos should be restricted to when a woman is standing and bent over the bed.Remember too that the art of provocative strip tease can tease a guy to the point where he just wants to throw you onto the bed and devour you.
  4. Break the routine!
    Over the years when ever I've spoken to sexologists and relationship experts about how to keep the spark alive in the bedroom they've all said that familiarity breeds boredom and even contempt. To continuously turn a guy on you need to break the routine. Obviously sex is not just for the bedroom but when it is in the bedroom you need to mix things up a bit. Be eager to try new things and new positions. Take charge sometimes; other times be submissive and do what he wants. Keeping boredom from the bedroom is in everyone's best interest!
  5. Dirty talk!
    Ok so it doesn't always have to be really dirty but guys like to be told what a woman likes, what turns her on and what she fantasises about. Again guys are visual creatures; and with you talking about sex they can visualize the scene. It's a huge turn on! I appreciate that not all women feel confident enough to talk like this. Maybe they're concerned with what their partner thinks of them. I take the view that we should all be open and honest with our partner in the bedroom. As cliché as it sounds communication is paramount in order to maintain an exhilarating sex life.
  6. Titillation!
    Contrary to popular belief men DO need foreplay. Our brain is connected to our big head and also to our smaller head. To arouse the smaller head we need our brain stimulated. Titillation and foreplay comes in many forms. Body worship with your hands, tongue, mouth and even your own body arouses a man. A woman sliding naked up and down a man (massage oil makes it even more delicious) is spine-tingling...for both. And guys love it!Guys have erogenous zones just like women do. And those zones extend to more than just his penis. You need to explore where they are on his body using your hands and mouth.
  7. Role play works!
    Guys love this for many reasons particularly because it's out of the norm (usually), it's visual and it's seriously exciting. Whether she dresses as a nurse, a police officer or whatever other role she, or he, fantasises about, it all helps set the scene and build the anticipation. Bondage and discipline (B&D) is an all time favourite that many men like. Usually a male likes to be dominant although I do know that some guys like to be submissive from time to time.
  8. Using sex toys can seriously turn a guy on.
    Apart from the bonus that a woman can pleasure herself, and bring herself to multiple orgasms whilst he watches, it can drive a man wild with ravenous lust. And if a woman masturbates whilst using sex toys (even without sex toys it's a huge turn on for guys) then this can really set the bedroom on fire with sexual energy. Sex toys aren't just for foreplay. They're often used throughout a sex session. After a guy is turned on with foreplay it's important to keep him turned on so that a) he maintains an erection, b) he wants to pleasure his partner and c) he has a mind blowing orgasm (or a few of them).
  9. Watching porn!
    Whether it's before or during sex this almost always turns a guy on. Obviously it needs to be not only stimulating for the guy but also for his partner as well. It's a turn off for a guy if he realises she's not into it and is only watching it to appease him. Watching porn all the time isn't something I'd advocate. I personally don't watch porn as much as most people would expect I do, however I do know that it should be included in a woman's repertoire of bedroom tricks to turn a guy on. There's lots of porn around these days that helps couples live out their fantasies.
  10. Use all 5 of the main human senses.
    Yes there are more than 5 senses, so it turns out, but women can focus not only on sight, sound, and touch but also on smell and taste as they're important factors in turning your man on too. Whilst sometimes it might be exciting to have sex straight after the gym when you're all sweaty, or straight after dinner when you've eaten garlic bread, but as a general rule guys like their partner to be freshly showered, teeth brushed and even sometimes smelling of perfume. Again this logic doesn't apply to all situations; like morning sex for instance. Most guys love the idea of morning action before rolling out of bed.

Keeping him happyKeeping him happy

The no-brainer tip (no number needed). Oral sex! Yes it's probably no revelation that this turns guys on...and even a bit too much sometimes. Most guys like to give and receive oral sex. If a woman is good at this and performs it well then she's normally rewarded by her man with great reciprocal oral sex and also a desire to please her every way he can. It's important for a man to communicate what he likes and dislikes with oral sex ie. how he wants her to do it. We've all had bad oral sex at some time and no one wants this. What a woman does with her hands and fingers whilst giving oral sex is paramount. Even the way she looks at a guy whilst doing it can be very highly provocative and very arousing. And she needs to display genuine enthusiasm!

So that's my wrap up of what I believe turns a guy on. I haven't researched the topic. It's straight from my personal experiences and the knowledge I've gained over the years as the founder and owner of I'd love to hear your views on turning a guy on in the bedroom particularly if there's something that I should include in my top 10 tips.

Next week I'm planning to write about the top 10 ways to turn a woman on and I need your help! Please leave comments, facebook message or email me. Whilst I think I know a fair bit about turning women on it'd be great to hear from you exactly what turns a woman on.

Delivering passion and pleasure.


Budgie 5 September 2013 at 9:24 pm
How to turn on a woman? Stop talking...saying thoughtless stupid things before you WANT TO HAVE SEX is a passion killer. If sex is on your mind and you're hoping it'll happen do not bring up politics, ethics or morals. EVER. Even if you think you know how your partner feels, chances are you're completely wrong. Tip number one is: SHUT UP!
Felicity Lockyer 11 September 2013 at 10:15 am
Ok so I watch with interest my friend Malcolm Days blogevery week… those who know me would not be surprised at that..his Top Ten hmmmI can counter that but I will also agree with some of what he says :1. A woman needs to be confident in the bedroomSo does a man, some men don't like the waythey look they get paranoid . A man should not have to feel he needs abs or ahuge cock JOK we alllll love Magic Mike but most of all OUR man is an attraction forreasons we don't know, he might not be the greatest catch or he might be but if we are in bed with him there is areason already …2. Stroke a mans ego not just his manhoodWomen are hopeless lol we live on emotionold adage women 90% emotional 10% logical and vice versa tell her she looks amazing,even if it's just when she has started organising dinner, a surprise kiss goesa VERY long way at her make her feel like you want to ravish her …itworks !3. What you wear or don't wear, can make a bigdifferenceSame goes I don't care if yourmother bought you a pair of white (not so tighty) whiteys for yourbirthday..ewwww ( true story) when you make an effort so will we, we love tolisten to our man gasp as we walk out in a new outfit and say 'wow babe' that'sit we blush..4. Break the routineSelf explanatory if you don't get it by nowshame !5. Dirty talkHeck yes call me a “Good Girl” now come onladies, be honest if a guy you are in to walks up behind you and whispers inyour ear are you not going to melt? And in the bedroom you should always feelconfident enough to ask for what you want... I agree with Mal “...communicationis paramount in order to maintain an exhilarating sex life”6. TitillationMen loved to be played with, don't beafraid be confident, research what he likes prostrate play is probably in myexperience something men don't like admitting to.. ask him what he likes it'sthe only way you will know..and when massaging start with him on his stomach..7. Role play works!Role play, dress ups YES YES YES … Bondage is a very favourite, men love to besubmissive.. agreed Malcolm (that's a later blog ) J8. Using a sex toys can seriously turn a guy onFor a woman using a sex toy can be a verypersonal thing, it comes back to communication we DO like to use them but itshard to do so without feeling stupid and lets be honest most men would rathercrawl over a muddy football field nakedin front of his friend while on fire rather than admit to using a sex toy onthemselves.9. Watching porn!Im a little different I actuallyLOVE watching porn on my own or with my partner, his tastes are different tomine but we also have a happy medium we choose alternately J Its something that weenjoy together I can take it or leave it but in my experience most men do liketo watch it mostly now behind closed doors with their iPhone..and it depends ifits bought or made as a couple J10. Use all 5 of the Human SensesIm with you on that one..!! A manshould smell musky his scent should linger on your clothes, in your hair … andin the morning your scent should linger in his clothes, in his hair….
A Concerned Neighbour 27 September 2013 at 12:01 pm
"If she can't cook then it's not the end of the world ....... Over time women can learn to cook"So unimpressed with the casual sexism.
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