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The Perfect Blowjob

21 November 2013 14 comments

All men love a good blow job! In fact many men would probably rather a blowjob, that brings them to orgasm, than to have a full on sex session. It's certainly easier for a man to lie back and relax while he gets a blowjob, than to think about pleasing his partner. Maybe this is why some women just don't do it too well? They don't want the blowjob to be the main event for him...or maybe they just don't know how to give a fantastic blow job.

The perfect blowjobThe perfect blowjob

Blowjobs normally aren't the main event, however there are times when a woman doesn't want sex but still wants to please her man. Whilst not all women are keen on giving them, those who do are usually well rewarded by their partners. I know some men who look forward to when their partner has her monthly periods as it usually means blowjobs before going to sleep at night.

In many bars in the tourist precincts of Thailand a man can get a blowjob whilst sitting on a stool drinking beer. Similarly a man could get one whilst having his hair cut. Maybe exhibitionism isn't frowned upon in these establishments.

Years ago I remember a new girlfriend, who was overly enthusiastic when giving me a blowjob during our first sex session. She sucked way too hard, in fact it was to the point that it was slightly painful for me. I didn't say too much at the time as I certainly wasn't about to dampen her youthful exuberance. When I threw back the bed covers in the morning I was horrified to see blood blisters all over my cock! I then decided it was better that I talked her through how to give a great blowjob.

Here's my tips to give him the perfect blowjob:

  1. Start with some foreplay – just like women, men need this too. The difference usually is the length of time needed to get aroused. We can go from zero to hero quite quickly! Kissing on the lips, neck and body can have a flaccid cock bulging in no time. Sex talk or watching porn beforehand can also have a guy hungry for action. Guys don't need as much 'mood setting' (think candles, music, dimmed lights etc) to get excited. One of the best blowjobs I've had, albeit very rushed, was in an empty baby changing room at my local gym.
  2. Guys need to shower and trim up beforehand – yes everyone likes cleanliness. And getting a mouth full of pubic hair isn't anyone's idea of fun.
  3. Remember it's not just about using your lips – you also should use your tongue, your lips, your breath, your hands, your fingers and maybe even your breasts. Sometimes you could also simply pull out, whilst you're fucking, and start sucking him. In fact this is a great way to slow down his time to get to orgasm as you're controlling the pleasure.By stopping the blowjob every now and then and using your hands or breasts to continue stimulating him it gives your mouth a break, and it's just as pleasurable for him.
  4. Focus on the tip – this is where a lot of the nerve endings are so it makes sense that this area should receive a lot of your attention particularly with your lips and tongue. Breath, especially blowing, on the tip is a great turn on for guys. This sensation can be sometimes enhanced if you have a block of ice or a mint in your mouth.
  5. Stimulate from base to the tip – unless you're experienced at deep throating (think the porn star Linda Lovelace) you're not going to be able to take a guy fully in your mouth without gagging. You don't need to! You can lick from the base to the tip on the topside or along the bottom side which is generally more pleasurable for a guy (and easier in practice to do). Or whilst sucking and licking the head you can run your hand up and down the shaft. A twisting action, providing the shaft is well lubricated with saliva or lube (preferably water based), up and down the shaft works really well.
  6. Stimulate other areas – it's best to use your hands and fingers whilst giving a blow job. Men like their perineum, the area between their ass and their balls, massaged simultaneously. Or you could try a finger or two in their anus where you could stimulate their prostrate (also known as P-spot). Apparently this is popular in many of my local massage centres.If your man is standing and you're kneeling in front of him (or if he's kneeling on the bed and you're on all fours), then rubbing your hands over his thighs and buttocks whilst sucking him can be quite a turn on for him. This is sometimes a preferred position for a guy as he can control the pace and rhythm.
  7. Love his balls – yes men really like their balls being fondled, squeezed, caressed and generally handled whilst you're performing oral sex. If you're adept with your hands it will pay off, and if you're not then don't sweat it as men also liked their balls being licked and sucked too. Try using your hands whilst sucking and then switching it up so that you're actually sucking his balls (not too hard as this can be painful for him) whilst you're stroking his cock with your hand. If you could somehow manage to tell him, in between mouthfuls, how much you're enjoying it then this will also stroke his ego.
  8. Don't suck too hard – remember my overly enthusiastic ex girlfriend story! It can spell the end to the moment if you're too vigorous with the sucking. You don't have to suck like a new Electrolux! Similarly be very careful with your teeth. A bit of playful nipping on the head or shaft is good, but much more will leave your man in panic or maybe even agony. Neither is palatable for him!
  9. Swallow or not – this is definitely all about personal preference and something that should be discussed and agreed upon beforehand (surprises are often unwelcome in these situations). All guys love it if their woman swallows. A man's orgasm often continues for a few miuntes after he's finished ejaculating. The nerve endings at the head of his cock are still very sensitive for a while after so it's still extremely pleasurable for a guy if you swallow and continue performing oral sex after he's finished ejaculating. If you can't stomach the thought of swallowing then consider using your hands to keep stroking him whilst he's ejaculating and for a few minutes after, or perhaps spit his ejaculate out and then continue with the blowjob. This is quite a critical point in performing the perfect blowjob. If you stop sucking, or touching his cock, as soon as he starts ejaculating it'll be a bit of a letdown for the guy and he may even want to then use his own hands to stroke himself whilst he's continues to ejaculate and orgasm.
  10. Eye contact is important – yes guys like to know you're enjoying it. And they like the idea that the act is a bit naughty and a bit domineering, so they like you looking up at them, especially with sultry and seductive eyes. Eyes that tell them that you can't get enough of them. Remember they'll be returning the favour and trying their best to pleasure you soon!

If the blowjob is the main event then the objective is generally to make him orgasm as quickly as possible. Most men are satisfied with this scenario. If however the blowjob is part of foreplay or a switch up during a sex 'session' then you will probably want to take a different approach to avoid the 'party' being over too quickly.

Blowjobs need not always be about pleasuring just the man. A woman can use a sex toy like a vibrator or a we-vibe (note we-vibes are hands free) to get herself off whilst performing a blow job. Or a man can use a sex toy on her whilst she's pleasuring him orally. And then of course he could be performing oral sex on her whilst she's doing the same for him (69 position).

Next week I'm thinking about doing a post on the perfect oral sex for her so please comment on this week's post and share your tips of how to give perfect cunnilingus.

Delivering passion and pleasure.

Mal

Anon 21 November 2013 at 2:01 pm
Perhaps if more men put their ladies oral pleasure first they would be getting much better blow jobs!
angelene 21 November 2013 at 5:34 pm
Would love some tips on deep-throating - and how to train/control the gag reflex
rogue 21 November 2013 at 5:48 pm
Can't wait too see next issue. I love going down on my girl, taking the time to tease it out of her. And for Thy sake of my 2 cents, multitask!! Lips, tongue, the tip of the nose, hands for stroking, fingers for finding her spot. And for a bit more fun drag her to the edge of the bed, then sit her over your shoulders while your face is still in her, support her back with your arms and carry her somewhere more interesting. Or just put her back against the wall.
Movin On 22 November 2013 at 8:32 am
Maybe it would be better to stimulate the "prostate"?
Mia 22 November 2013 at 9:18 am
The term "Blow Job" can be confusing, I quickly realised that gently blowing on a man's cock is not a Blow Job......I know better now ;-)
Anon 22 November 2013 at 10:46 am
Your facts here are actually fairly accurate but I disagree that what constitutes a 'perfect blowjob' is as simple as 10 facts. You can't just look up how to do it and have it all figured out, doesn't work that way. You can get pretty far, sure, and your advice here would definitely have a fair amount of success, but everyone is different. Each person has different turns ons and preferences and you don't mention this at all. What each individual likes is more important than any set of tips, and leaving that out merely makes this a guideline and in no way an actual how to on a 'perfect blowjob'.
Natasha 23 November 2013 at 12:26 am
At our local tavern this conversation was debated this evening. In regards to Women receiving oral the conclusion is most women don't find oral sex that pleasurable to receive it is merely the thought of a guy being down there that is the turn on not the actual action
Penny 23 November 2013 at 1:06 am
The author forgot one important thing.Daddy, (my husband,) says what he loves so much about my blow jobs is my attitude.I want to do this for him and I get sexual pleasure from giving him a good one.I think for a girl, it's our chance to do the giving.
Beem 24 November 2013 at 8:59 pm
I don't know any chic that doesn't love having her man or friend go "down" on them... I like many other chicks much rather the act of foreplay to intercourse.
Justme 24 November 2013 at 10:48 pm
I find it extremely satisfying to get my guy to orgasm with my mouth. I can't bring myself to swallow but he tells me he doesn't mind. The fact that I love sucking him and pleasuring him, sometimes unexpectedly, is enough to keep him satisfied. And I get plenty in return ;) Sex isn't all about penetration, there are so many ways to enjoy each other's and our own bodies :)
Sweetchocolate 30 November 2013 at 4:49 pm
Love your work!
Sweetchocolate 30 November 2013 at 4:56 pm
Taking a guy all the way down your throat doesn't have to be every stroke, just a few long slow almost inhalations of him interspersed with short quick sucks whilst rubbing the rest of his length with your hands. I find most guys appreciate that little gag that comes along with deep throating, and know to back off if they want more. Sometimes I put ice chips in my mouth that way as it melts in your mouth the warmth of my mouth and the coldness of the ice gives him a little something different, especially when you then blow across him as well.
Aliaksei Kaponia 10 December 2013 at 7:27 pm
Hi. I am the author photos. http://blog.adultshop.com.a...Where did you get my picture for an article? Thx
anon 16 January 2014 at 6:35 pm
and what if, your like me and the thought of going down on a man makes you feel physically sick?
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