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Oral Sex for Her

28 November 2013 6 comments

Years ago, when I was conducting exploration surveys in remote Western Australia, I remember sitting around a bush camp fire one night with my field hand listening to him trying his best to impress me with his incredulous stories of sexual prowess. Apparently he was having an affair with a married woman who lived down the road from him. He did his best to convince me that he often slipped through a bedroom window and into her bed late at night and had sex with her very quietly whilst her husband slept alongside of her. I at least found him entertaining!

Oral Sex for HerOral Sex for Her

He went on to tell more 'stud' stories which again I found hard to believe. The only story he did tell that I accepted as probably authentic was how one night he met a lady in a bar and took her home for what turned out to be a one night stand. Given he fancied himself as a great lover he was perplexed when, after giving the woman what he thought was the best oral sex she'd ever had, he looked up only to find her smoking a cigarette with her bored eyes roaming aimlessly around the room. He may have been a cocksmith but clearly he didn't have a clue about cunnilingus.

For men it can be very arousing to go down on a woman! A friend of mine living in Sydney is known as Jack The Licker. Unfortunately for him the reason he's been given this nick name is because of his penchants for going down on a woman when she's laying face down on the bed. Yes, I mean licking and "going to town", as he would say, on her anus. His desire for it is so strong he actually pays prostitutes to lay face down on the bed for an hour or two for him to do his thing. Most men get more enjoyment out of orally pleasuring a woman's pussy rather than her ass.

So, what do women like when it comes to oral sex? How do men ensure they're not going to end up with a stiff neck, sore tongue and their partner so bored that they're smoking, flipping through a magazine or worse still so frustrated that they nod off to sleep? Men need some guidance! All women are different. What turns one woman on isn't guaranteed to turn another on. It normally takes a bit of trial and error, along with communication, for a man to work out what his lady likes in bed and how, or even if, she likes oral sex.

Natasha commented on last week's blog that, after discussion with her girlfriends at their local tavern last week, women don't find oral sex pleasurable to receive but the mere thought of a guy doing it for them was a turn on rather than the actual action. I was a bit surprised by this comment but nevertheless I took it on board. I'm hoping that the views of this small group of women aren't representative of most women and that most women like oral sex providing the giver knows what they're doing.

Years ago I suppose I was quite fortunate to have an older more experienced and rather uninhibited girlfriend who viewed herself as somewhat of a tutor to me. She told me in bed one night that I needed to learn what she liked when it came to me giving her oral sex and she promised to give me a 'lesson' when we next met. She came around to see me a few nights later with her girlfriend. I was instructed to sit on the end of the bed, fully clothed, where I was to watch and learn but I wasn't to touch (unfortunately the no touching rule included myself). The girls spent the next few hours giving each other oral sex with me eagerly watching. I remember thinking how much slower than me they were, that there was so much more kissing and caressing, more tenderness and far more pleasure than I could deliver at the time. And they used sex toys whilst they went down on each other! I concluded at the time that of course women should be better at oral sex with other women as they should know what turns each other on. It certainly was a memorable, and educational, experience for me!

Noting that all women are different, here's what I think works for many women:

  1. Turn them on – yes, before you even touch any part of their pussy they need to be highly aroused. They need kissing, caressing, body to body and other foreplay in order to have them yearning for you to touch them down there.
  2. Leave the clothes on sometimes – we all like sex to be a bit naughty at times. After she's turned on you don't need to tear her clothes off. Leaving the bra on, but just exposing a nipple or two and man handling them, can build the excitement for a woman. Similarly leaving her panties on but just pulling them to the side or even kissing and licking through the panties can be great for her.
  3. Spontaneity works - sometimes non-planned or orchestrated works best. It doesn't always have to be about mood setting with lights dimmed, music playing etc. It can be after she steps out of a shower or perhaps in the kitchen whilst she's cooking dinner that you kneel down and pull her panties aside and give her some oral loving. Non routine doesn't just apply to oral sex but all aspects of sex. No one wants predictable sex regularly. It just becomes boring.
  4. Start slow – don't zoom in on the clitoris or g-spot straight away. A woman's clitoris is extremely sensitive and the level of sensitivity varies from woman to woman (and this is one of the reasons why choosing a sex toy for a woman is often very personal). You can't go from kissing her on the mouth or nibbling her ears and neck to sucking feverishly on her clitoris. Most women can't handle this intensity so soon. What they need is plenty of foreplay that includes touching around the clitoris, her navel, upper and inner thighs. A slow sensuous and loving approach works best.
  5. Look up and talk too – by looking up frequently you can see if she's enjoying it (hopefully her moans and other body actions will also alert you). It excites women when they can see the look of enthusiasm in a man's eyes. The fact that he's not only enjoying what he's doing but he's primarily doing it to please her turns her on. And if he tells her what he's going to do to her and how much he's also turned on then this also helps build up her excitement levels.
  6. Use your lips, tongue and teeth – sucking her clitoris or her inner and outer lips, at various intensities, can be as pleasurable for her as you licking them. You need to change, not only what you do but how you do it including the pressure, speed and rhythm. A playful nip here and there with your teeth is usually well received too.
  7. Don't let her mind wander – if her mind starts wandering then you'll end up with a sore neck before you know it! Look up when you're down there and reassure her that it doesn't smell and that it tastes good. Women often worry about this. Talk to her every now and then, mix it up and watch and listen. Learn to react to what she likes and dislikes. Keep her mind on what you're doing. Distractions like children, work or whatever aren't going to make your job easy so help her stay focused on her pleasure!
  8. Kissing during and after? – some women don't like the idea of kissing you after you've been down on them performing oral sex. If you have some of their taste just on your tongue and perhaps lips then it's not so bad, however, if you have their juices smeared all over your face and chin then they're often not keen on kissing. I suppose it's not dissimilar from some men not wanting to kiss if their partner has just swallowed their ejaculate.
  9. Use your fingers and hands – of course you can use your fingers to stimulate her g-spot whilst you're performing oral sex, but you can also use your fingers and hands to caress her everywhere else like her ass, breasts, stomach, thighs and other erogenous zones. The multi sensory overload can have her writhing in ecstasy in no time.
  10. Use sex toys – whilst fingers work too, it's often far easier to use a sex toy on her whilst you're licking and sucking her clitoris and outer lips. There are many toys that work in this situation. Again, using sex toys during oral sex is something that you probably wouldn't do every time but its great sometimes to try different things.

I need to reiterate that all women are different and what works for one doesn't always work for another. Oral sex, whether it's performed on her or him, can be the main event. It can also be part of foreplay or it can be part of a full on sex session. If it's done right then it can be a great experience anytime!

As always I'd love to hear your views, so please comment.

Delivering passion and pleasure.

Mal

Cas 28 November 2013 at 3:41 pm
I prefer reciving as part of a 69, it's so much more of a turn on!
Apple Lover 28 November 2013 at 4:39 pm
Yes yes yes...love it! Love it whenever wherever. I'm sure that Natasha and her friends from the tavern just haven't had good oral sex before. I hope they experience it at some stage in their lives. It's arousing, sensational and mind blowing. And you're right, it takes practise and talking and experimenting. Long may it continue.
Shaun 28 November 2013 at 6:29 pm
Hum a long sustained note while your mouth is around her clitoris. Lower the note. Repeat. Enjoy the reaction. Sometimes she will harmonise with you :-)
Jetgirl 29 November 2013 at 7:34 am
My ex lover and I had great oral. We didn't have too many discussions about it as we just went with each others bodies spontaneously. Using his full tongue flat for wide strokes made it less tiring for him and gave me a break from intensity but left me free to move about. Sex toys would have been a welcome addition but not necessary. Seems like most men, he felt threatened by them. 69ers were terrific but left less options for movement and most men cannot concentrate once their penis is being attended to, so one at a time is best!
Sweetchocolate 30 November 2013 at 4:37 pm
Since the first time receiving oral it is my preferred activity. My lover is truly amazing and likes to watch me while he gives me pleasure. He takes the time to make me feel every lick, and nip and get me to the brink and over. Oral pleasure is truly bliss when given with attention and care to your lover.
Heather Sinning 27 December 2013 at 8:18 am
Me too
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