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Male Masturbation

10 July 2014 10 comments

Having your mother find your stash of Playboy magazines, along with a bottle of baby oil and a box of tissues, underneath your bed at the age of 13 is one of the most humiliating and harrowing events any teenage boy could face! Well this happened to me. One afternoon I was horrified when confronted by my stern looking mother who had placed my bag of magazines and 'masturbation necessities' on top of my bed. Due to the embarrassment we both felt, we never needed to talk about it. And I'm glad we didn't! This is not the sort of discussion a teenage boy wants to have with either parent. He's certainly not going to ever admit to masturbating even if he's caught out.

Male MasturbationMale Masturbation

Not long after the unfortunate incident at home things went from bad to worse. I took a few of the mag's to school in my school bag and was subsequently caught masturbating in the male toilets after a couple of guys burst into the cubicle. Apparently they'd heard what was going on. Thereafter I was constantly teased by my school peers. Its funny how as a teenager, no boy will ever admit to masturbating however, as adults most men freely admit to doing it if asked. And some men quite openly boast about how often they participate in self loving.

Back in 2012 I travelled to Vegas with a small group of guys from Perth to attend a private dinner with Mike Tyson. The trip was all about meeting 12 of the world's greatest boxers of all time. One of the guys on the trip disappeared every few hours, normally back to his hotel room. I confronted him about his regular disappearances and challenged him that he was having sex with hookers (I was joking really). I was utterly amazed when he confided in me that he had Compulsive Masturbation Disorder (CMD). Initially I assumed he was joking when he told me he needed to masturbate every few hours which normally meant 7-8 times daily. And he apparently ejaculated each time... geez! I'm very open minded but hearing this did leave me slightly bewildered as to why a man needs to do it that regularly. I suppose that's why they call it a disorder.

After completing 2 years of my degree at Curtin University I took a year off and worked up at Argyle diamond mine in the Kimberley's as a surveyor on road and airport construction. My roster was 3 months on then 1 week off. As a 19 year old testosterone fueled young man the prospect of being locked down in a camp full of men and living in single men's quarters was daunting. My sex life was non-existent other than regular self loving (although not to the same extent as CMD). I used to always joke that working up at Argyle was great for my bank account but shocking for my sex life. These days fly in – fly out workers (FIFO) have much shorter stints away, which makes it easier to maintain relationships and enjoy a better sex life. They also usually have Internet in their rooms giving them access to an abundance of porn. It's no revelation that men like to watch porn whilst they masturbate. In-store and online at we sell a lot of male masturbation aids to FIFO's. Fleshlight is our number 1 best selling aid for men who work away from home.

We also sell a lot of prostate massagers and stimulators. A man's prostate is located at the root of his penis and is just below the bladder. It's about the size of a walnut and it's a semen storing gland (no it's not a testicle). It's a gland that's very susceptible to blood circulation deficiency. When a man has his prostate massaged stagnant semen is released and his prostate is cleansed. If it's not cleansed regularly then bacteria (from the accumulation of toxic waste) often builds up causing swelling and infection. Regular massaging and stimulation of the prostate can help reduce the risk of prostate cancer, frequent night time urination and erectile dysfunction (ie. impotence... yikes!). It also decreases inflammation of the prostate, increases the volume and health of seminal fluid whilst also enhancing blood circulation through a man's penis.

A man needs his special gland (his prostate) to be able to orgasm. Without it he simply can't orgasm. The contraction of the muscles in this gland causes the orgasmic sensation. Men who have their prostate removed due to prostate cancer can't orgasm (nor can they get an erection or control their bladder... horrible for a man!). Sounds like a great reason to consider prostate stimulation!

Whilst this is a topic I'm not totally familiar with I do know that men can get some of their strongest erections and have the most intense orgasms from having their prostate massaged. Stimulation of the prostate prior to and during orgasm can ultimately achieve the most powerful and mind blowing orgasm. And a strong orgasm is certainly much healthier. Having semen slowly dribble out of the end of a man's penis signals a problem! Men need to treat their prostate like a muscle. It needs a regular workout to stay strong and healthy.

For those men who want to, or have to, abstain from ejaculating (a horrid thought) they could consider 'milking' the prostate to cause semen to be discharged. And with semen flow it relieves the urge to ejaculate. 'Milking' is the practice of deep gentle massaging of the prostate - usually achieved with a vibrator or slim metal tube. I did see it performed in an episode of Law and Order once where a doctor milked a dead man to remove his semen to then perform in-vitro-fertilization (IVF) using an egg from his partner who was still alive. It did make me cringe when the doctor produced a metal cigar shaped tube that emitted low voltage shocks and then inserted it onto the man's anus to 'milk' him. I didn't believe this was possible until I researched the subject.

Our best selling prostate massages are LELO Billy Rechargeable Prostate Massager, Rocks Off Cheeky Boy 7 Function P-Spot Stimulator, Renegade Vibrating Prostate Massager 1. Some men use these whilst having sex with their partner or whilst flying solo and enjoying their own handy work.

Regular ejaculation is good for a man's prostate (with or without prostate massage). Guys – remember next time your wife or girlfriend catches you masturbating try responding with; "honey, I'm just minimizing the risk of prostate cancer".

Ok enough of prostate massage (even though it fits in the subject matter of masturbation) and let's discuss why men masturbate. As a teenage boy it's probably because of high testosterone levels, the need for self exploration, for enjoyment and just because they can. Digressing for a moment – some extremely flexible men can actually perform fellatio on themselves (just because they can). It's referred to as auto fellatio and I'm sure it's an awesome party trick!

So why do men masturbate? I believe it's probably for the same reasons as why teenage boys do but there are also other reasons. I'm not sure if they do it for their prostate health (although they probably should if necessary). Men sometimes have an urge to masturbate, so they do it. Sex can be a powerful drug. If they're used to having plenty of sex then if the tap is turned off so to speak (like when they're a FIFO worker or perhaps when their partner is menstruating or they're newly single) then this can create the need for a man to masturbate.

Masturbating for a man can be a great stress reliever. It's not only a good way for them to get to sleep at night but it can help them shake off anxieties and even the pressures they've faced during the day. A friend of mine goes for regular full body massages that always end with hand relief (happy endings). He calls his masseuse his Stress Relief Manager and quite rightly so. Whilst not all wives or partners would be that keen on their man employing the services of such a skillful masseuse, I'm sure some women wouldn't mind so much if it helps keeps their man satisfied (note that I advocate honesty with partners).

I know of some men who would rather masturbate than have sex with their partner. As shocking as it may sound some men are lazy and can't be bothered with sex. Maybe it's because their partner doesn't turn them on anymore (unless they can work it out then it's time for a change I suggest) and sometimes it's the prospect of lengthy foreplay that has men masturbating rather than having sex with their partner (obviously not all women need lengthy foreplay).

Men with over active libidos can often stray from their relationship if their sex life is lacking in some way (I definitely don't advocate cheating). For men in this situation masturbation is a far better alternative!

Women who learn of their men masturbating often have negative thoughts about their man and also about themselves. They often resent their man and start questioning why he needs to masturbate when they're having sex with them. They ask themselves if he is satisfied, or not, and unfortunately often come to the conclusion that the man isn't satisfied having sex with them, hence why he has to resort to doing the job himself. This not only places pressure on relationships but can create insecurities and self-esteem issues for women. It shouldn't! Even if a man has a brilliant sex life he sometimes feels the need to masturbate. Why? Because men are men! And as men are very visual creatures this need surfaces from time to time.

Because men are very visual creatures we often fixate on images in adult mag's or porn (Internet or DVDs) whilst masturbating. And sometimes it's just the sight or thought of another woman that turns us on that creates the urge to masturbate (even if we're in a relationship). Web sites that can be accessed from smart phones are extremely popular for men who want to masturbate. We love fantasies and porn helps bring them to life. Whilst men don't think this is a big deal, as I mentioned earlier women can sometimes get themselves confused when trying to analyse why men watch porn and masturbate. They can get jealous too. Again I don't think they should as it's generally harmless fun - unless of course they've developed CMD like my friend I went to Vegas with 2 years ago who needed to masturbate 7-8 times a day. I suggest this is probably harmful.

Men don't always need porn to look at or watch. In the absence of porn men normally visualize a woman naked, various sex scenes or sexual fantasies. And this is where a good imagination comes in very handy (pun intended).

Years ago I operated Australia's largest phone sex operation employing over 200 women to talk dirty on the phone with male callers (and the occasional female caller). I ran ads in most newspapers, adult magazines and late night TV channels around Australia. This was pre 2001 when the government banned the use of premium rate phone lines to charge callers. I've heard so many phone sex stories from my employees over the years that I could write a book about them. Prior to starting the business (when I was a civil engineer) I didn't realise how popular a business that focused on men masturbating could be. Apart from making me millions of dollars it was certainly an interesting experience!

Over time I've changed my personal view on masturbation for men. My current view is that it's sometimes not good for a man to do it too often for 2 reasons. Firstly a man can bring himself to orgasm when he's not fully hard and secondly he tries to climax as quickly as possible. Obviously this isn't good training for a man's penis. I figure a man's penis isn't stupid (I often wonder if they have a mind of their own). It's not good training for a penis if they realise they can orgasm without getting fully erect nor is it good training for them if they're taught to orgasm as fast as possible. Neither phenomenon bodes well for a man to then have great sex with his partner.

On a final note male masturbation needn't be a solo exercise. Men love it when a woman does it for them (though not whilst they're driving). During sex a woman might do it for a while (and sometimes whilst performing oral sex on a man). And often a man will pull out of a woman just before he ejaculates so he can do it across her body or in her mouth. Assuming she's up for it then this can be a turn on for both the man and woman.

Whilst I realise masturbation is a bit of a taboo topic I'm going to try to tackle female masturbation for my blog post next week whilst I'm in Bali soaking up some sun. The resort pool and sunshine could inspire me to write! If you have any comments you'd like to make on this post then fire away and if you have any tips for me in relation to female masturbation them please email or message me.

Delivering passion and pleasure.


Wodanson 10 July 2014 at 12:33 pm
A good article. In my case I masturbate because I do not have a female partner. It is a choice between going solo or nothing. Seems that some people have been chosen by fate to live without knowing love.
Dom 10 July 2014 at 12:39 pm
not bad. i have always wondered about prostate stimulation, willing to give it a go for I definitely wouldn't want to live without an erection, and im sure if you have a better half they wouldn't either...
Scoobydoc 10 July 2014 at 12:47 pm
my teenage boys are quite open when it comes to talking about masturbation. they will often tease each other about it but they don't shy away from the topic or deny doing it. thank god I haven't been one of those mums that catches her son doing it, I think we would both be mortified but in saying that, its not a taboo topic in our house.
kaykay 10 July 2014 at 5:28 pm
"Someone you haven't even met wondering what it would be like to know someone like you." Never give up on finding love.
Handheld 11 July 2014 at 3:45 am
Maybe only half as good but twice as safe....
Wodanson 11 July 2014 at 8:39 am
I wish that I could believe that, but I do not . . . not any longer. Women are not interested, because I am not an arsehole 'bad boy'. Call me Mr Friend Zone.
Kayt 12 July 2014 at 3:12 pm
Reading about the prostate stimulation or 'milking' brings to mind the movie Road Trip where the boys go to a sperm bank to get some cash. One lucky guys gets a ''helping hand'' from a nurse what results is the best orgasm of his life...something to think about really
kaykay 13 July 2014 at 3:16 am
We are not all into the 'bad boy' type. You just haven't met the right woman yet. ;)
katie 15 July 2014 at 11:43 am
I came home one day to find my teenage son masturbating on my couch with his jocks around his ankles and he was watching porn he didn't see me walk in.... He got the shock of his life when I said ummm what are you doing haha he said watching cartoons lol,I took his phone off him and said go and have a shower. Of course he was embarrassed and I was shocked but its a normal thing so I didn't want to bring it up again haha
Angel 16 July 2014 at 6:39 pm
I would be more interested in a guest speaker (female) discussing female wanking please. Thankyou
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