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Hardly doing ‘it’ anymore?

27 June 2013 3 comments

We've all been there! When you first meet a new partner you have sex multiple times a day...but as the years go by the frequency of having sex diminishes rapidly (for most couples). It's an affliction that, over time, affects every couple! Why is this? This morning I had a Skype call for an hour with Dr Ava from Los Angeles (one of the leading sexperts in the US... see sexpert.com) and I asked her this question. Her response was simply "familiarity".

Dr Ava is coming to Perth to give a presentation next month and she's staying at my apartment in Kings Park whilst she's here. I'm also meeting with her next month in L.A. We plan to discuss why familiarity breeds boredom and more importantly how to keep the passion alive in long term relationships. This is what Dr Ava does for a living. She's a certified Love Coach (I'm not sure exactly what that means just yet) but I know she can teach me a lot! This morning she almost convinced me to do her Master Sexpert course through the Loveology University that she operates. I'm thinking about it :)

Break-Up

In March last year I broke up with my wife. We'd been together for over 11 years. We broke up for a number of reasons however I believe it was probably mostly due to losing the passion. After speaking to friends post breakup it turned out many of them had also lost their passion in the long term relationship they were in. Some of them told me they only stayed with their wives because of their children. Whilst it's admirable I told them I didn't fully agree with this logic. Others who'd lost the passion in their relationship were cheating on their wives (see my last 2 blog posts re my view on this). They were all unhappy but they weren't doing much about it as they had simply concluded that the passion was gone, or at least dormant. What if we could stop the passion dying in a relationship? We'd all like to know how to do this...right!

Over the years owning and managing adultshop.com has provided me lots of experience in keeping the passion alive in a relationship. Clearly however it's not just about using sex toys! Yes they can certainly spice things up in the bedroom, with or without your partner, but there's a lot more to keeping the passion alive.

A few years ago when Bon Jovi was touring Australia an eastern states journo posed a question to Jon Bon Jovi: "what do you attribute to your success". He responded with "Passion, Perseverance and Possibility". I've since worked out that possibility is essentially timing. I often quote Jon's answer to our staff at adultshop.com. Passion in particular is a key requirement in any successful business. I believe that Jon's answer is something that couples should also strive to remember and follow.

Last xmas I had a party at my rooftop bar in Kings Park with about 130 guests. I'm happy to report that post party I learned that one couple, who've been together for circa 20 years (high school sweethearts), had sex during the party in one of the bathrooms... And another couple, who've been together for 12 years, had sex in the other bathroom. Clearly both couples haven't lost the passion in their relationships! They have both confided in me that their sex lives aren't as pleasurable as they'd like them to be, however they seem to be rekindling the lust!

Exciting Projects

Hardly doing 'it'?Hardly doing 'it'?

Tracey and I are working on an exciting online project to help couples keep the passion alive (and have a sex life that other couples would be jealous of). This is why we've been meeting with Australia and America's leading sexperts. I look forward to sharing this project with you in a few weeks time. I suppose we'd all love a relationship so passionate that we're ducking into bathrooms at parties for sex :)

This Saturday night is the 10th annual adultshop.com Boobalicious ball (boobalicious.com.au). Proceeds raised from the night go to Breast Cancer Care WA of which I'm Chairman. Next week I'll post about it and I'll include some pics from the night.

As always I'd love to hear your views...particularly on how you keep the passion strong in your relationship. And please do the survey if you get a chance.

Delivering passion and pleasure.

Mal

Hopeful 28 June 2013 at 6:24 am
I can't wait to see this project as this is something I'm experiencing with my husband at the moment
Dee 22 July 2013 at 8:43 pm
This is all too common unfortunately. I think it's equally important to be physically healthy as well as mentally; exercise, eat right and keep those hormone levels well! Also every couple must have regular date nights ;). Wine and Dine!
rob 11 September 2013 at 5:11 pm
great post
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