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Erection problems

1 May 2014 3 comments

A soft cock isn't much use to anyone! At an adult industry event in Las Vegas a few years back, I asked a male porn star if he, or other male porn stars he worked with, had any problems getting or maintaining erections. His response was “of course I do, just like all men do from time to time”. This surprised me a bit as I believed a male porn star would have ‘excelled' in this area. He then went on to tell me how women (usually referred to as fluffers) were often employed by film producers to keep male stars aroused between scenes. They usually did this by performing oral sex on them.

Erection ProblemsErection Problems

The porn star also told me that many male porn stars used either Viagra or Cialis (erection pills prescribed by a doctor) to stay hard whilst filming. What really worked for him though was a combination of Cialis and injections into his penis. I cringed and went a bit weak at the knees when he mentioned the jabs. He explained to me that his standard procedure was to take a Cialis pill about an hour before performance time, have sex with a starlet (or a number of them), orgasm, then give himself an injection to the penis of medication that would keep him erect for about another hour. This way he could continue performing on set without the need for a fluffer. And he was able to orgasm again.

Whilst some men are able to stay hard for a lengthy sex session and even have multiple orgasms, doing it on cue with a film production crew present apparently isn't as easy as you'd think. I know a male gigolo (prostitute for women) who nibbles on Viagra pills between clients to ensure he keeps his female clientele satisfied. Anxiety caused from sexual performance expectations can be devastating to any man's erection, even for a man who performs sex for a living!

A few months ago I listened to a friend of mine complaining to me that his doctor wouldn't prescribe him Viagra or Cialis anymore (even though he'd previously prescribed it for a couple of years). He's in his mid thirties and super fit. His doctor checked his blood pressure and after asking him a few general health questions asked him why he needed erection pills when he couldn't see any obvious physical issues. Unfortunately my friend was a little too honest and responded to the doctor by telling him that he didn't have any erection problems when having sex with his wife and that he only needed help when participating in group sex with other couples (he and his wife are swingers). The doctor said he felt uncomfortable prescribing erection medication for those situations as it created an ethical issue for him, although I personally believe he made a moral judgment call.

My point in reciting these anecdotes is to reinforce the fact that men sometimes suffer from erection problems because they experience sexual performance anxiety.

A couple of weeks ago I did a post on men's libido and a reader responded by sending me a question. Her husband is 41 and they've been married for seventeen years. For a few months now he's been having problems getting a full erection and it's starting to worry her. She wanted my advice on what to do about it and whether or not she should confront him on such a serious topic. She was concerned that bringing the subject up with him may exacerbate the problem.

I suggested she diplomatically bring it up with him after they'd had sex as I thought this would potentially have less impact upon his ego (yes men have fragile ego's when it comes to anything negative in relation to their cock). Assuming they had no relationships issues, he wasn't stressed (from work, finances or otherwise), he wasn't suffering depression, he was still turned on by her (noting this has obviously dropped off somewhat after seventeen years), he wasn't smoking or drinking too much alcohol or doing recreational drugs, then I suggested he go to see a doctor. I explained a doctor would give him a physical checkup and also consider whether or not the problem was a physiological issue (noting that husbands aren't always entirely honest with their wives with how they feel).

His doctor would also consider other medications he may be on that may be creating an adverse side effect. Proscar, used for the treatment of male hair loss, for instance lowers a man's testosterone which can then create erectile dysfunction (also known as impotence). A doctor would check to ensure he doesn't have high blood pressure. He would also generally arrange for blood tests to be done and then analyse them to check testosterone levels, other hormone levels, cholesterol levels, blood glucose levels (a test for diabetes), and even changes to PSA levels. PSA levels are markers used to monitor prostate problems. Men with prostate issues, including prostate cancer, usually experience varying levels of impotence.

There is a direct correlation between men getting older (usually from mid to late thirties onwards), decreasing testosterone levels, low libido and erection problems. A problem men have, to a certain degree, is that women start to hit their sexual peak in their thirties. I'll do a blog post on this disparity in libido's for men and women another time. The good news for men is that doctors can prescribe medication to assist with erections (like Viagra and Cialis) and they can also prescribe inexpensive testosterone replacement therapy (pills, creams, gel's, injections and troche's). If a man has higher testosterone, he often doesn't need Viagra or Cialis.

I have a rich investment banker friend who lives in Sydney and likes to party regularly with hookers. His definition of partying with them is to get 2 or 3 of them naked in a hotel suite all afternoon or night and drink expensive champagne and do cocaine with them…but he doesn't actually have penetrative sex with them because he can't get a hard on due to the cocktail of booze and coke (too much of either kills erections, so the mix is seriously debilitating). They try to perform oral sex on him with lacklustre results. I've discussed this with him many times and I still don't get the appeal (note, I'm a health fanatic and don't do recreational drugs).

Just to re-cap; most men have erection issues at some stage or another. Here's what generally causes them:

  • Physical health issues like diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and prostrate problems.
  • Physiological problems like depression, stress, sexual performance anxiety, self esteem issues and negative body image.
  • Lifestyle activities like smoking and recreational drug taking.
  • Side effects from prescriptions drugs (like Proscar) or the treatment of prostate cancer.
  • Relationship issues – deep rooted or superficial. For instance an argument before bed time doesn't usually bode well for a strong erection.

And here's what you can do if you or your partner are experiencing difficulties getting or maintaining erections:

  • Firstly don't panic nor focus on the problem. Unfortunately focusing too much on getting a full erection can be futile and often has the opposite effect. There are ways however to ensure that you or your partner becomes as erect as the best porn stars.
  • You must discuss the issue with your partner. I realise this may be difficult but it's far less difficult than the relationship issues the problem may cause if you don't discuss it.
  • Consider if you or your partner need to make lifestyle changes ie. stop smoking, stop drinking too much alcohol, stop using recreational drugs, start a regular exercise program, eat healthy.
  • Research side effects of any prescription drugs or medical treatments that you or your partner may be taking or having.
  • Stop and consider your or your partners stress levels (note a doctor can assess your cortisol levels when analyzing your blood test results – cortisol is the hormone produced from stress). Consider whether you have the work/life balance right for you and your partner (note the ‘life' component in this equation has many variables including time spent with your partner).
  • Sort out any relationships issues if you have any. I know this is easier said than done. Partners aren't always totally honest with each other.
  • Consider you or your partner seeing a doctor and requesting a medical checkup. Ask specifically for a blood test and analysis to determine blood pressure, blood glucose levels, cholesterol levels, testosterone levels and other hormone levels.
  • If testosterone levels are low then a doctor can prescribe hormone replacement therapy (note many men in the US over the age of 35 are using medication to increase their testosterone levels). See my blog post on male libido on other ways to naturally increase levels of testosterone.
  • Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for a prescription of either Viagra or Cialis. I'm not embarrassed to say I've tried both and prefer Cialis for a number of reasons.
  • If you have body image issues then consider hitting the gym and eating healthy. Note that regular exercise and eating healthy has many other positive health effects.
  • Vacuum pumps (Bathmate is our best seller) work to get an erection and cock rings help in maintaining an erection. Cock rings have the added benefit of making a cock thicker as it stops blood flowing back out (don't leave the ring on for too long though).
  • Consider using sex toys sometimes as foreplay and during sex sessions (maybe even for the main event). This takes the focus off the cock (less sexual performance anxiety) and when the pressure is off then men often have no problems getting and staying erect.
  • And finally for men who have severe impotence problems (like prostate cancer sufferers) there's always penile implant surgery that can be considered (apparently they usually come with a small finger activated ball like pump held in a man's scrotum). Whilst they potentially don't sound too appealing it'd certainly be a great party trick!

I hope I've given you some ideas here on how to combat erection problems. If there's something I've missed in this blog post (read in conjunction with the male libido post) then please let me know as I and other readers am certainly interested.

Delivering passion and pleasure.

Mal

sheridanb 1 May 2014 at 3:19 pm
For men suffering from depression who are taking antidepressant medication, erectile dysfunction can definitely be a side effect of the medication and is quite common especially with SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) antidepressants. I have had first hand experience with this in the past, but thankfully had a very patient and understanding partner, and the problem stopped as soon as the medication stopped. The good news is that not all antidepressant medications cause this side effect, so if it is happening to you, you should talk to your Doctor about it and discuss the possibility of trying other medications which do not cause the same side effect.
A 1 May 2014 at 4:32 pm
I have never had erection problems when it's a one on one situation, but my wife and I have recently engaged in swinging. For an unknown reason I am unable to get an etection but found that viagra works a treat. I noticed that you mentioned that you prefer Cialis over viagra and was wondering why that was.Cheers A
disqus_qmEYYSOSU1 2 May 2014 at 9:03 am
I took antidepressants a few years ago; while they didn't prevent me getting an erection I could abuse myself raw (well, not literally) but could not orgasm/ejaculate. In my 70s now and still have no problem with erections, but often take a long time to come - very frustrating for partners who want to see the results as soon as they orgasm! I maintain my erection ok, but I get desensitised and can't ejaculate until I stop for a few minutes. One of the main problems in my experience is that, while women need, like, want foreplay (and I love that) they NEVER think of reciprocating; "right I'm ready - get it in there and get on with it"!! I do sometimes use a 5mg Cialis if I'm feeling a bit tired, or am concerned I may not be able to perform because of anxiety, and find it works really well. I tried a Viagra tablet (full strength) as an experiment a few years ago and felt like my sinuses and head were going to explode! Have come across guys who used prostaglandin injections into their cock and it certainly gave them unbelievable erections (we were shooting porn!) that looked almost artificial, but one complained after an hour that he was in agony and couldn't ejaculate - the only thing that helped was a Sudafed that I happened to have with me! Pseudoephedrine apparently counters the prostaglandin!!As an aside, I dream of having a lover who performed fellatio like some of the women I see in porn movies - my partners seem to think all that 's required is a perfunctory "put it in my mouth and that should satisfy him" (possibly an inhibition conditioned by older generational attitudes - only whores give head?) and I find it really difficult (because of MY upbringing!) to suggest that using their hand as well would be good - I have tried, but they don't get the idea of lascivious! I think it was Dr Alex Comfort who said that the man who could find a lascivious partner was indeed blessed .... I'm still searching!
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