A Facial for your Vagina

24 August 2017 10 comments

Is the vagacial yet another beauty craze or does this unique treatment really make your vagina glow?

The daunting realisation that we are approaching the winter of life comes with that first wrinkle. You peer at it, wondering how on earth it got there and how you hadn’t noticed it before - but it’s so big! Then you look a little closer and notice the pigmentation, the sagginess of it all, the grey - oh the dreaded grey. Where did the rosy plumpness of youth fade away to?

A Facial for your VaginaA Facial for your Vagina

Don’t plan on withdrawing your nether regions from the public eye just yet - sounds like you’re in need of a vagacial. Yes you read correctly - a vagina facial. What’s that? You thought high tech anti-ageing facials were only for the face? Pft. That is so yesterday. The latest beauty craze, backed by many Hollywood A-listers, is all about revitalising your Republic of Labia region.

Your next question is, of course, who on Earth thought this up? Well let me introduce you to Ms. Lisa Palmer, a dating expert, who one day noticed that her vulva was looking somewhat wrinkly and dry compared to how it looked when she was younger. It was then that she decided she could no longer stand by and do nothing about this atrocity and hence the cure for over 40 year old vaginas was born. Palmer claims her treatment tightens the vagina, improves elasticity and combats dryness giving women “the vagina of a 25 year old”. Sounds good to me! Palmer shared that a staggering “80% (of her clients) have got dry, sagging vaginas and that being in a long-term relationship can result in people neglecting their vaginas”.

Truth be told, detoxification of the vagina is something Asian women have been doing for centuries, but not in order to make their vaginas glow - rather to regulate their menstrual cycle.

So what exactly is involved in having the most groomed vagina in town? The vagacial is a treatment that applies vitamins and egg white to your nether regions, the vulva to be precise. A mix of coconut oil, vitamin E cream, honey and egg white are applied to your intimate region in order to aid in removal and prevention of ingrown hairs and acne, smoothing of skin and treating discolouration. For women who often shave or wax down there, they will understand the cosmetic issues that surround the bikini area. Depending on the salon or dermatologist you visit, the treatments may vary somewhat. Most include a steam, wax, extraction, cleansing and clay mask (yes a clay mask) before the facial concoction is applied.

We put a lot of emphasis on keeping the rest of our body well moisturised and scrubbed, why would our intimate region be any different? Surely some non-masturbatory pampering and cleansing would be both relaxing and a good way to keep your hygiene in check. Not only will your vagina be glowing, but hopefully so will you. On the other hand, steaming can alter the delicate PH balance in your nether regions and introduce all sorts of bacteria, whilst raw egg whites have the potential to cause even greater problems (E. Coli anyone?). For the treatment to reach its maximum potential, your vagina would need to sit for the facial regularly at least for the first several weeks.

When it comes to medical opinions, theres no consensus even within the profession. Dr. Oscar A. Aguirre, a pelvis surgeon who performs Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation treatments, sees the benefits of the facial, “I would encourage the treatment like I would encourage personal hygiene. It’s just another step to it”. Dr. Jen Gunter, an obstetrician and gynaecologists, disagrees. Dr Gunter believes it is precisely the over cleansing, removal of pubic hair and skin condition that makes the vulva age faster. “Washing strips away natural oils and the skin responds by getting thicker and dryer. After many years of no pubic hair the labia can sometimes take on an almost scrotal appearance. Really the best self-care in the area is to do less.”

In a world which constantly bombards us with the importance of looking youthful, perhaps at the end of the day we ought to accept that vulvas come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colours and just maybe it should be the one area we allow to age gracefully. I like a glowing vagina as much as the next woman, or man, but I think putting more emphasis on the internal vagina (remember your pelvic floor exercises with kegel balls ladies?) rather than the external vagina would help your intimate region reach its maximum level of attractiveness. Having said that, I am all for self pampering and if a vagacial is the way your yoni feels relaxed and more confident, then, by all means, vagacial away.

What’s next - cockacials?

Written by Maggie May
Maggie May is a sexologist and a writer. She is a lover of all things sensual and sexual.

Sheridan 24 August 2017 at 3:53 pm
Wow this is really a thing!? What will they think of next...
Diane 24 August 2017 at 4:11 pm
I cant believe that this is available . Just when you thought you heard of everything you read this , lol. Very interesting blog , enjoyed reading it . keep them coming .
Lisa 25 August 2017 at 7:46 am
Hahaheheh. Shared this post with my husband we had such a good laugh. He said he and no other man would ever notice the condition of the vulva or anything like that. This is crazy. Yet another way to make money from women who are constantly told they are ugly and not good enough. I agree with you Maggy - let's leave at lest that part alone!
Marina 29 August 2017 at 8:10 am
This is very interesting. I don't know if I'd do it myself but it's interesting to read about it. I wonder what it would feel like....
Bolt Blyth 29 August 2017 at 7:58 pm
Ha ! The wife & I were chatting with a cuppla friends - female, the other night and the subject of "Labia Lifting" came up, now coincidently this article comes out. I have forwarded this to the girls, all over 50.
Keeping it clean down there 29 August 2017 at 8:17 pm
Wonders what my gynaelogist will say when I mention this. I may be referred onto a psychologist.
Claire G 7 September 2017 at 7:46 pm
This is the funniest thing ever. Do people really need this sort of thing once they hit a certain age?? I'm scared! Loved reading this and have share with friends.
James 25 September 2017 at 6:21 pm
Dont be scared clare there are plenty of things coming out that you should try
Lillian Glasburg 8 September 2017 at 10:53 pm
Loved reading this blog, had not idea this existed. Now I want to try it...
Don 9 September 2017 at 8:31 pm
I have news for you women - you create your own hell. No man will ever notice nor care about this rubbish. And if he does, he's obviously not the right bloke for you. It is this kind of ridiculous thinking, that something is wrong with your body or that it needs fixing, that gives rise to these money grabbing businesses which are making millions from poor gullible women. Stop being so paranoid. Your vagina is beautiful the way it is and most men or women won't care if your vulva is wrinkly!!!
Back to top