adultshop.com now stocks a great new range of fictional and non-fictional books that are not only arousing and erotics reads, but also instructional and educational as well! Think of them as a recipe book for your bedroom and beyond… They can be a great addition to spicing up your sex life without going outside your relationship for those “extra” ingredients, and they can be invaluable in giving you ideas for varied, exciting, sensuous and delicious sex. You can adapt them to suit your own tastes, or you can follow them exactly for a bit of saucy fun. They can provide you with sex tips and tricks for making the most of your setting, your preparation, positions, play and talk, as well as recommending some new techniques for passionate, red-hot motivation! Take your sex life from tame to toe-curling or simply treat yourself to the latest in explosive and erotic escapism.
According to Dr Gabrielle Morrissey in her best selling book, “Spicy Sex”: When it comes to food, we crave variety. Yes, most people have dishes that are their favourites, but if we ate the same thing day in day out…we’d eventually get bored and desire it less. With food we sample many different dishes. People regularly try new recipes, alternate cuisines and learn new twists on old standards. In many ways, the same principles can be applied to our sex life: variety keeps it interesting and stimulating.
Many people get a little worried about adding a bit of spice to their sex lives. “Will it have to involve leather chaps, whips and wax?” they ask. In reality, zhuzhing up your sex life doesn’t have to mean suddenly trying something well beyond your comfort zone. It’s more about expanding your sexual repertoire and injecting your libido by rediscovering and reinventing yourselves between the sheets!
In fact, our most important sexual organ is the one between our ears, not the one between our legs, so we should all try to stimulate our creativity and imagination as much as possible. When you stimulate your mind and your partner’s mind by giving your sex life a bit of extra attention, the rest of your erogenous bits will respond!
But it’s so easy to say, “Just use a little bit of imagination”… Who really has the spare time or energy when we’re juggling our work, our home lives and so often, a family? Stress is frankly the biggest libido killer there is! For many people, “maintenance sex” is the maximum they can muster and the distress call from an un-sexed-up partner for “more sex, please” or “more excitement and passion” can often be met with a huge sigh or groan (and not of the sexy kind)! So is it hard to spice up your sex life? Honestly, no. It just takes a few simple principles, known as “The Five Ps”: priorities, playfulness, pleasure, pampering, and partner connection:
Make sure your intimate time, just the two of you…alone, is a priority, not just another activity on your “To Do List” when you can squeeze in the time. Sex doesn't always have to take forever -- and it should never, ever feel like a chore! Those spontaneous sex sessions -- when your partner sneaks up behind you while you're loading the washing machine, for example - can be passionate and satisfying, especially if you “do it” standing up or while still fully dressed! The “quickie” is a great way to perk up your sex life because it's something different and the speed makes it feel just that little bit naughty. Your libido gets a shot in the arm and a quickie is just plain fun (even if it IS over fast)! A sense of urgency can turn up the heat in a major way. Being aggressive can also be fun and unexpected – its romance with a twist. So if you're in the mood, ripping each other's clothes off and skimping on foreplay could be an exciting change of pace.
That having been said, like apple pie and mashed potato, sometimes you just need something that's simple, familiar and satisfying. It's one way to provide love and support when you or your partner has had a rough day or is feeling down. This is when it might be time to use your favourite stand-by position, one that you and your lover always enjoy.
Either way, it’s important to remember that sex should be fun, so take a tip and introduce some laughs into your bedroom, instead of concentrating on becoming the Kama Sutra couple. Make time for one another by stealing “alone time” whenever and wherever you can. And up the ante by being spontaneous AND predictable! We all have busy lives, so try to spend just ten minutes alone together every day to find out what each of you has been up to. Remind yourselves what you used to enjoy doing before you got bogged down in the humdrum nature of life. Play games
together, go out walking - do whatever it was that used to make you feel alive and happy. Just communicating will get you out of your normal routine.
The couple who plays together, stays together – right? You betcha! Sex is your adult playtime, so have some fun with it! It doesn’t always have to be a soap opera seduction, so laugh, giggle, play games, tease and please. Ultimately FUN is the best aphrodisiac – quit looking for sexy and start looking to have fun instead and you’ll end up having more sex. Everyone has sexual fantasies, and as long as both you and your partner feel comfortable acting them out, there's no reason you shouldn't try them. For example, if your partner has always dreamed of doing the deed on a boat, why not rent one and spend a romantic night at sea? All aboard!
Mixing up your lovemaking location can be a great way to inject some spontaneity into a relationship, which in turn can make you and your partner feel even more desirable. Too often people get into a routine where they have sex at the same time, in the same place. You tell your kids to go and play outside – so why not practice what you preach! Bringing your sexual escapades outside can be fun and invigorating. So venture outside to learn more about the birds and the bees.
And if you're at a boring party or family gathering, add a little spice to the evening by sneaking away to the spare bedroom. The possibility of getting caught adds a new level of excitement to your sex life and can even give you a reason to look forward to spending the holidays with the in-laws! A sex game
can be anything you want it to be – simple or elaborate, funny or serious. It can involve playing with food or water, role playing, enacting sexual fantasies or experimenting with sex toys
, like vibrators
, dongs and dildos
and S&M gear. The important thing is to enjoy yourselves and to communicate.
Sex and intimacy is about pleasure, not necessarily about orgasm. So focus on the giving and receiving of pleasure, rather than the “main event”. Trying out a new position offers the chance to learn more about what brings your partner pleasure. Some positions work better than others for helping a woman (or a man) orgasm and sex-perimenting with new ones can give you a better feel for what works -- and what doesn't. Mixing it up keeps sex fresh and prevents it from becoming routine, which makes it more likely that you and your partner will keep doing it -- literally.
We’re more in the mood for sex when we feel good and have the energy. Sex takes time, concentration and some effort, so to get primed for pleasure, take time out for yourself. De-stress, exercise, do things to make yourself feel sexy and sensual, like massage, and it will pay off in your sex life. And make time to enjoy each other's bodies and give one another compliments, paying special attention to your lover’s least-favourite bits. It will make them feel desired and sexy, and body confidence (yours and theirs) is sexual gold!
Research tells us good sex is about feeling connected to your partner, outside the bedroom as well as between the sheets! Taking the time to savour foreplay without rushing through it can be luxurious and fulfilling on many levels. Connecting with your partner by taking it slow means you get to enjoy every moment of being together and lets you take advantage of the emotional connection that makes sex better. Whether it takes candles, music or some bubbly, building the mood can provide a major boost between the sheets.
A passionate argument can also lead to some just-as-passionate action in the bedroom. Fighting causes dopamine and adrenaline levels to rise, making you and your partner excitable (in more ways than one)! Every couple faces occasional conflict and sex after a disagreement can be a great way to get your relationship back on track. Sex changes the momentum after an argument – which is why “make-up sex” is such a turn on!
Kiss one another. It's one of the most intimate things you can do with your clothes on and will help to maintain and build up the romantic bond between you. Leave notes for each other. Get a pad of sticky notes and write little messages you can leave where your loved one will find them and we're not talking about ones that say, “Remember to take the rubbish out!” Go away together. Sometimes, it takes some distance and time together to remind you how much you love and enjoy each other's company. Get someone to look after the kids and get away for a night or weekend, where you can just do those fun things together that you can never do at home. And if you must stay at home, pretend there’s a power cut. Imagine that the juice is cut off for a night and there’s no TV, no music, no lights… just you, your partner, some candles and conversation.
Practice, practice, practice! Spending less time worrying about your sexual prowess and more time acquiring the knowledge you need to become a sex god/goddess, will go a long way towards spicing up your sex life! Take a tip and learn some tricks from the experts. Check out our great range of books and educational DVDs
that cover a range of topics in human sexuality, from anal sex and G-spot stimulation to fellatio and bondage. As adults, we all have the right to expert information when it comes to our bodies, our relationships, and our sexuality. Our sex advice instructional book titles are sex-positive, and we hope they inspire you to explore, experiment, and deepen the intimacy of your relationship. By presenting the material in an intelligent, accessible style that's sexy, entertaining, and fun, our Sex Ed Department offer useful information and explicit techniques taught by experts, demonstrated by enthusiastic performers, and presented with refreshing sensuality. Enjoy!